Idiot-Proof

HELLO, NOT GOING TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!!

loved; 12:34 AM

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I wonder what will become of me in 10 years' time.

Will i still keep in contact with the friends whom I regard as the closest to me now? Will I get the job that I love? Will I be married to the one I love most? Will I have beautiful children?

In 10 years, I think I'll probably look back again to this very moment, sigh and wonder why this 10 years has passed by so quickly.

loved; 11:53 PM

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Photo-taking trip around Singapore! Who's in? (:

loved; 11:48 PM

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I went for the interview held by Resorts World Singapore!

It was really crowded and the wait was sleep-inducing. I wanted to go for Crew but the crew's queue was insanely long so the person recommended that I tried for Sales Associate first instead since I wanted to try for both. 15 minutes after i've stepped into the room, they announced that the slots for crew were all taken up. :(

I should have gone earlier! The walk-in interviews were on Saturday and Sunday, 0900h - 1700h but i only reached at 1500h on Sunday. Zz.

But anyway I went through 2 interviews and then received a Letter of Offer on the spot! :D It started with, "Congratulations! You have been selected!" :D Had to wait for another briefing then we got information regarding our pay, the training dates, training venue and some basic information.

My training's from 14th December to 28th December! I'm not really that sure if there's really training on Christmas but I know there's training on Christmas Eve. 0900h - 1700h everyday.. Not really such a bad idea considering the fact that i'll be alone at home anyway. Who's willing to come over and stay with me?!?! :(

loved; 2:46 PM

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I want to have a different blogskin.

I wanted something simple. Something that is soothing to the eyes, preferably with beautifully taken photographs of a person/scenery/places. Not those with a lot of scrapbook style with pictures jumbled together, not those with navigations because i hate having to click on those puny little hearts, not those with lovesick/unrequited-love corny statements and definitely not those emo ones that talk about how miserable life is.

And I realised that IT'S EXTREMELY HARD TO LOOK FOR A BLOGSKIN WITHOUT ALL THOSE SHIT.

I managed to find one with a beautiful picture of a carousel but there were words like "Baby, take me to the merry-go-round" and I couldn't find a way to get rid of those words. Well, for one thing I wouldn't want to go on a merry-go-round/carousel.

Yes they are extremely beautiful to look at, very majestic what with all the beautiful glittering lights, fairytales-like creatures exquisitely carved etc. A lot of drama serials/movies have depicted how romantic it is to take a ride on the carousel with someone you love and I'm sure a lot of girls have dreamt about a moment like that.

But why would I want to sit on something that merely bobs on the spot while I smile silly at my boyfriend who's probably out-of-reach because my hands are too short?!

A carousel ride is extremely boring because it just go round and round and it's not even the horses that you sit on doing that. It's not exciting and they are merely bobbing on the spot so what's so fun about it?!

I always watch shows and wonder how those actors/actresses can look so happy doing something so boring.

I found another one that has this really beautiful photo and I downloaded it but stupid Mac has no way of opening this document and it's frustrating. Well, it's a photo of a couple and it talks about love etc but that's not really what I'm looking at. I just love the scenery, the colours and just the way the photo is taken. The person can probably photoshop the couple away and I wouldn't mind. I just love how beautiful Nature can be so I'm easily won over by such things.

For now, i'll still stick to this until i've figured out a way to use that blogskin. Going to bathe then meeting Ting at Jurong Point for lunch!

loved; 12:53 PM

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I always try my best to help you in whatever way I can. I hardly get any form of appreciation from you but I haven't grumbled much about it. Everytime you step over the boundary, I just kept moving back to make room for you but it seems that my gestures were not appreciated at all. I don't expect you to be grateful but at least you don't have to treat me like I'm indebted to you or that I'm obliged to face all these shit you throw to me. What have I done to deserve such a treatment from you?

While you're so engrossed and absorbed in conjuring up a supposedly miserable world which is all but fragments of your imagination, have you spared a thought for the others who has to suffer your wrath when they have done nothing wrong?

I beseech you to help salvage this, because as much as I want to do this, I can't do it without effort on your part.

loved; 7:47 PM

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I've been feeling weak this whole day. I know it's been getting to me quite often lately and I haven't been as cheery these few days.. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me. I will get over it very fast.

On a better note.. say hi to me when you all go to Universal Studios Singapore in Sentosa next year! :D

loved; 10:09 PM

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Interview interview interview!

loved; 11:25 PM

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My sister and I used to hate wearing the same clothes as each other but my mother still made the same clothes for us anyway. I was exceptionally proud of wearing this though because I had two additional straps and my sister didn't. Back then, I felt that Ma used extra cloth to make my set so I felt that i've won. -.-

We wanted to re-enact this scene when we get to go back to Malaysia. Kor's butt was itchy that time. I was the shortest among them last time. Now I'm still the shortest one.

This was when my brother still had pretty eyes (because he hadn't started wearing specs) and when i was a mere 18 months old.

Floral prints was in when I was 8 years old so I was fashionable when I was young okay. Don't ask me why my elder sister was wearing red stockings with a red dress.

Pardon the retarded expression, I was trying to blow out the candles on my younger brother's birthday cake.

I've always been rather manly. Look at how I'm sitting compared to my elder brother.

HAHA I HAD A SAILOR DRESS WHEN I WAS YOUNG! :D But i hated how my mom always ties a coconut tree on my head. I see Shih Tzus running around last time and felt that i looked like them.

My sister had really good self-portrait skills even when she was young. Mingkang looked really cute last time right!

loved; 4:54 PM

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I stayed at home today and tidied up the rest of my room. I'm still not really satisfied with the results because I have a lot other ideas to decorate my room.. but i'm sharing a room with my sister and my room is really quite small.. Guess I'll have to make do with this until I get a room/house of my own in the future.

I've started to like staying at home recently.. It's just peaceful and calm and I get to do whatever I want to.. Okay going to go bathe now then going out shopping with Mama and dinner with cousin & her father.

Going for an interview tomorrow. Good luck to me.

loved; 4:48 PM

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Samyang Ramyun!

loved; 1:33 AM

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My family's going back to Malaysia from 19th to 26th but I can't go back! :(

Which means I'm going to spend Christmas alone. :(

But I'm going to invite a lot of people over for Christmas parties! :D Gift exchanges, silly games, gossip sessions etc. :D

Darling's mom came to pick me up from school today because we were going down to Darling's company to pass them the items that he wants. We managed to go pick up some decorations for his brother's 21st birthday party tomorrow. Auntie invited me but I guess I won't be able to make it. It was weird waiting alone in the office but Eric seemed like a really nice person. He was friendly in real life though he seemed quite fierce through er, SMSES. One of the Captains (i think?) walked past me while i was waiting and he gave me the look as if I'm going to join the company as a sailor too.

Off to rest. I've been feeling really tired recently.

loved; 8:19 PM

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Why do we find it so easy to hate, but so difficult to forgive? Why are the right decisions always the toughest decisions to make?

loved; 3:07 AM

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I was nearly done with my assignment when my Microsoft Word suddenly stopped responding. I thought nothing of it and just waited for it to recover. It took 10 minutes and I began panicking. I had to force-quit it and no changes were saved. I don't have the habit of saving while doing my assignments until I'm fully done with them.

My brother has never had a problem with his Mac but I'm having problems with mine for MSN, Finder, Microsoft Word even thought I've never ever dropped/damaged it in any way. Electronics fucking hate me and fuck my life because it's 0226h and i have to redo my assignment by piecing together the tiny fragments of anything I can remember.

I'm in an absolute state of distress and it feels extremely bad because I don't know how to vent my anger. I'm just calmly typing away and a normal human being shouldn't be behaving like this.

loved; 2:23 AM

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The nightsky is magnificent tonight.

I should be happy all the time. Mind over body, that's what I've always believed in, right? I'll keep telling myself that everything will be fine. It always works.

I'm not really upset. Maybe I am, but I'm not sure. Just reflecting, just reflecting.

I miss waking up to your perfect face.

loved; 1:46 AM

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The beautiful night started out like this..

Taken by my brother with his Nikon D80. Breathtaking display of nature.

You can see the new River Valley campus taking up half of all the photographs. It's almost 3 times the size of BP. From next year onwards I will hear the National Anthem playing every morning and see boys with hairy legs in short white pants flooding the bus stops downstairs.

(not that there are only boys in RV but i can't stand how the upper sec boys are still made to wear shorts)

loved; 12:12 AM

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I'm happier today because Darling called! It's so comforting to know that he's very concerned about what's been happening to me lately. That alone is enough to make me feel so much better. (:

I know you are upset because you can't be around with me when I'm facing a problem like this. But I know you are supporting me mentally and that's enough. I know I'm strong enough to overcome this, so don't worry okay? (:

Please take care of yourself and don't get any more bruises! I'll wait for your call again when you've reached Kota Kinabalu. (:

loved; 7:54 PM

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I'm the one in the red and white dress BUT NO ONE BELIEVES THAT IT'S ME.

loved; 4:31 PM

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I've just finished bathing. I should be sleeping because I have to reach BP by 0900h tml. Lesson's at 1600h so if i have the extra time on hand, I may go to school earlier to do my assignment due on Thursday.

I already got the stuff that Darling needs! Will probably pop by his place on Wednesday to pass the items to his family so they can send them down to his company. I found my old Samsung 540Z lying on my table and I decided to go get cheapo charger and give them both to Darling even though his mom is already going to pass him one of her extra phones. I just don't want to have to go through the torture of zero contact again just in case his phone end up swimming in the sea/frozen in the fridge or something.

I'm so tired now so im going to get my well-deserved rest now! (:

loved; 1:08 AM

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It's 1st December now..

It's your birthday once again, Lao Pa.. I know you are now at a place that is so much more peaceful and without worries.

I miss you. We all miss you. We will always do. You are in a faraway place now and I can't reach you anymore.. but you will always be in my heart as the wonderful Lao Pa that you've always been..

You had given me the courage to move on from my mistakes, to get up again easily when I'm feeling down and to overcome any adversities that come in my way.. And now, I know you will give me the strength to stop crying too..

But I will stay strong for you, for this family, for anyone whom I care about and who cares about me too.

loved; 12:36 AM

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Both our dearest Liauw Pei Shan and Ho Puay Ling got their legs injured! Take good care of yourselves okay!

The weather's really bad recently, so everyone please remember to drink lots and lots of water okay! (:

loved; 12:21 AM

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My phone is dying on me!!!

I didn't receive a lot of smses today, including the one from Jianwei which he sent to make me feel guilty for being late, and the one my sister sent to ask me to go shopping with her at 1700h. Zzz.

I had to contact Darling's mom regarding the items that he needs us to pass to him when his shop comes around to Singapore but I couldn't find her contact anywhere in my phone! I was dead sure that I had hers because she sent me smses before etc. But anyway in a desperate bid to get to her, I spent forever scrolling through my past calls list to find it. And i finally did! I sent her a message but no replies came back. I'm quite sure that she must have replied because it's an urgent matter so it's probably because of my phone AGAIN. I'll give her a call tomorrow since it's so late now..

My phone sucks Zzz. So please, if i don't reply, either send the message again or call me because it's probably because I didn't receive it. :(

loved; 12:45 AM

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Beast - Bad Girl

HAHA that day my sister and I were watching Music Bank on KBS and then Beast performed. My sister rewound (we record all Music Banks) the performance just to watch AJ pull up his shirt again HAHAHA. Okay i admit that I was slightly dazzled by that but i'm not that crazy to watch it over and over. That sounds a little sick, doesn't it?

Okay i should be sleeping instead of fangirling away.

P.S: My sister likes the blond boy! From there you can really tell that she's after cute little boys. HAHA

loved; 1:04 AM

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SS501 - Love Like This

THIS IS PERFECTION. (swoons at 1:10 to 1:15 :D :D :D :D :D :D)

Sis prefers Kim Hyun Joong with long hair but i prefer him like that! Isn't he manlier like this?! Maybe she likes boys with cute/pretty boy faces but I prefer them to be more like a er.. man. I only realise the full extent of his charm after he cut his hair short. :D Can't let my sister know though because she's mad possessive over him. -.-

loved; 12:47 AM

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How long more can I still go through with this?

Minghan: "It's not a bad thing to know how to control your emotions.. It's an ability."

Being able to control emotions is good, but restricting your emotions from surfacing is another issue.

I don't know how to explain everything and this sense of frustration is overwhelming. I never used to have problems conveying my feelings/thoughts but now i'm stumbling.

I find myself struggling to voice out my feelings and my opinions, stuck at the "I.. I.." and then I just end up not saying anything at all. I find it so easy to comprehend people's feelings and can even phrased their thoughts for them when they can't, but i can't do the same for myself anymore.

And then there's this part of me that cares so much about what everyone wants that I neglected my own needs.

Even as i was typing this, I keep deleting and rephrasing my sentences. Everything's so jumbled up and I've given up typing the rest of this entry.

loved; 3:09 PM

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I have no idea what got into me today. Maybe I just need a little time to get back on track. I'll get back to the usual cheerful self tomorrow. I always do.

But.. do you appreciate it?

loved; 12:24 AM

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How come it feels as if I'm everyone's venting bin but no one wants to be mine?

loved; 1:04 AM

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It warms my heart so much to receive your sms and your call. I know I always go on and on about feeling so thankful for all that you're doing for me but I just feel like talking about it over and over again. You made me smile when you said you miss receiving encouraging messages from me and when you talked about how hard you tried to contact me during these days.. We used to take time for granted but those precious 20 minutes on the phone with you was a luxury that's hard to come by nowadays..

It's harder on us both now because you no longer have a phone but I guess we'll both have to rely on those encouragements we gave to each other over the phone just now.. Please always remember to put in your best while working.. Remember to do your homework onboard the ship and remember to take good care of yourself..

It pains my heart to know how tiring work is onboard the ship and I know how tough it can be especially during this period of time when the weather is extremely bad and the waves are rough and choppy.. but I know you won't give up no matter how tough it gets. You are someone who never gives up after you've set your heart on a goal. You are a strong-willed and determined person and you will definitely make it through. I'm very proud of you because sailing is no easy feat and not every ordinary man can handle it. I feel even more proud of you because so many others in your course have quit but you're set on completing it despite all the shit you have to go through. (:

You're a few thousand miles away from me but you've assured me that your heart's still here with me.. and that is all I need to know to go on for this 6 more months. We'll work hard together, won't we? (:

loved; 10:49 PM

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We are always so caught up in our own world, so insistent on our own opinions..but do we ever stop to listen to what the others have to say?

loved; 9:18 PM

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May 2010 seems so far away but school seems to be passing way too fast. I'm still undecided about my path in the future. I wish you were here to brainstorm/weigh pros and cons like what we always do to help each other reach our decisions.

"I want to plan my life with you.. I hope that every major life decision I make is accepted and supported by you.."

It's the same for me too but you are so far away now..

loved; 1:07 PM

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I read this from Ting's blog. Many of you have probably read this a million times in emails.
It's cliche but I just thought maybe i should post this up.

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A philosopher stood in front of his class, picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and started to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if it was full. They agreed it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly
and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

Next, the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students replied with an unanimous "yes".

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured everything into the jar,
effectively filling the empty spaces between the sand. The students laughed.
The professor then said. Now, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family, love, friends, children, health and favourite passions.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter - job, house, car.
The sand is everything else - the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles and golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time on the small things in life, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So, pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter.
Set your priorities right. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hands and asked what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled and said:
It just goes to show that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend. :)

loved; 12:41 AM

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What are we slogging our guts out for? What do we really want to achieve? Why did we do all that we did? At the end of it all, will you look back and wish you had done something different?

loved; 12:38 AM

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Hello, i've fallen sick again. This weather is cruel.

loved; 12:10 AM

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I want to watch 500 Days of Summer.

loved; 12:52 AM

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We somehow influenced my elder brother to take a liking to Korean pop culture and now he's laughing away at some variety show now. Love Korean variety shows!

I need to finish up my assignment now but I stopped when i was in the school library just now and now I've lost the train of thoughts and I can no longer type 600 words in half an hour like what I did just now.

I have weird dreams every night. More than a week ago I dreamt that Darling got extremely drunk and I got pissed and walked away. when i wanted to go back to him, someone has brought him away to Pulau Ubin and I went to look for him only to see him holding hands with another girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the dream he doesn't remember me anymore and even said "I don't know you. I'm together with her now." I swear i died from that statement. Zzz.

I'm sitting in my bed and I have to fight the urge to just "degen"(Jasvin's word) now but NOOOOOOO, got an assignment to hand up tomorrow. Shouldn't have bought this table to be used on the bed. It's tempting me to sleep. Zzz.

loved; 12:05 AM

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It's 0203h and I've just finished drafting the letter for parents. I've finished what I'm supposed to do too so I'm feeling rather accomplished despite being extremely drained. Have to wake up at 0700h for lesson tomorrow so I have less than 5 hours of sleep after washing up etc. That probably explains the sudden sight of a pimple on my chin. So much for wanting to keep to my "sleep at 0000h" promise to Darling.

It looks like it's going to rain really heavily. Goodnight world.

loved; 2:03 AM

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I'm nearly done with the checklist.

I'm extremely exhausted now but I have no idea why. Staying back in school tomorrow to do my assignments. I foresee us staying till 2200h probably. I'm feeling very grouchy now. Somehow i feel that it's the lack of interaction that i have with the people around me zzz. I'm losing touch with my friends because of my busy schedule and i don't like it. :( Well at least i still have the few usual idiots (Ting, Kim and Shan HAHAHAHAH) and I'm grateful for that. (:

I'm doing work in a very weird place now. I'm sitting right outside my room using the bed table because i let Bunji out to run but she keeps trying to come into my room. I have to sit outside to stop her from coming in.

Okay back to work zzzz.

loved; 10:57 PM

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Guess it doesn't matter that much anymore.

loved; 10:56 PM

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I just spent my entire day working on my assignments. 3 major assignments due next week and to top it off, we have our advisor coming down to the centre to supervise our interventions.

The past few weeks has been rather crazy what with the campfire preparations and IEP project discussions/implementations. It's the Red Camp week and we should actually be resting but NOOOOO, we're in a mad rush to meet deadlines etc.

Back to work now.

loved; 12:06 AM

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Darling called on Tuesday and he asked if i would like to go on a cruise for our overseas trip. I thought of that before but I just feel that by then he would have been quite sick of sailing already. He said he wants to bring me for star-sighting and thought that a cruise would be great for it but we decided that we can see stars pretty much anywhere else.

and so.. WE'RE GOING TO BANGKOK! :D

A cruise will probably cost $600/$700+ and we won't have much activities up onboard the ship either. I've always wanted to go onboard the tanker Darling is on to take a look at the accommodations, bridge etc but going on a cruise isn't going to fulfill any of those..

We (okay, actually it's me) want to go to Suan Siam/paintball/shopping/night markets etc! :D

I probably have 7/8 more months to save up for the trip! YAY YAY YAY BANGKOK!!!!

Hello Darling if you manage to go onshore/use internet etc....
I hope you're still doing very well out there.. :) Miss you like how I always do..

loved; 11:47 PM

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Please sign the petition.

"One morning on her way to school, (eight year old) Na-Young was dragged to a public toilet by a 50 year old man. She was beaten and strangled, then violently raped and sexually tortured."

This man was sentenced to a mere 12 years in prison.

Read below for more information.

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Light jail term for children's rapist enrages Koreans

A horrifying sexual assault on an eight-year-old girl by a habitual sex offender and the court's lighter-than-expected punishment have severely jolted South Korean society, prompting even President Lee Myung-bak to express resentment during a Cabinet meeting on Wednesday, according to Yonhap News.

A 57-year-old man living in Ansan, south of Seoul, was recently sentenced by a district court to 12 years in prison for brutally beating and raping the girl, known only as Na-young, a first-grade elementary school student, after kidnapping her on her way to school in December last year.

Na-young, who doctors say sustained irreversible damage to her genitals, anus and intestines as a result of the rape, has remained in the intensive care unit of a local hospital. As the Supreme Court Wednesday confirmed the lower court's 12-year jail term for Cho, the South Korean public exploded with anger. Prosecutors had demanded a life sentence for Cho, who has a record of 17 previous crimes and spent three years in prison for rape years ago.

Nearly 300,000 angry netizens have signed a petition at an Internet portal site calling for capital punishment for Cho.

Amid the rising society-wide resentment, President Lee said he has been frightened and distressed by the Na-young case, as well as by the court's ruling against the sex offender.

"I've been deeply saddened after reading reports of Na-young's case. It is not easy to raise a question about the court's rulings, but I think such a person (Cho) should be permanently separated from our society," Lee was quoted by his spokesman as saying during the weekly Cabinet meeting.

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This man should burn in hell for what he has done to a poor innocent girl. He has done irreversible damage to her and he should never be allowed to walk free again. She will never have a chance to lead a proper life again and yet this sick son of a bitch is allowed to walk free 12 years later?! Even a million cane strokes or a capital punishment won't be enough to make up for what he has done.

Na-Young has gone under 8 hour operation and her life was saved but she has lost all her functions of genital organs and has to live the rest of her life with a bag attached to her bladder. But this physical pain and suffering would be nothing compared to the bruises left on her heart and mind.

A fucking 17 previous crimes, a habitual sex offender and he could still roam around so freely? If i did not interpret it wrongly, he was jailed for a mere 3 years for his previous case of rape?! AND NOW HE CAME OUT AND DID IT AGAIN. I can't fucking comprehend why he was given such a light sentence considering all the trauma he has caused the 8 year-old girl. Wouldn't this encourage more sick bastards to commit such crimes? Whatever happened to justice?

I'm usually not for death sentences. Fuck, when it comes to cursing people I don't even curse them to die/have illnesses or anything serious etc. But this man doesn't deserve to live. I hope someone causes him hurt. Make him feel hurt so much more than what he did to the girl. Please just make him hurt.

Please sign the online petition. You probably think it's not going to help but please, it doesn't hurt to sign this and it takes less than 5 minutes of your time to do it. I do not know if it would work, but if you want to help in one way or another, just try signing this.

I've attached the link for the online petition below. Please sign it to urge them to review the sentence. Please get more people to sign this. This man should never see the light of the day again.

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/na-young.html

Warning: The petition contains the exact details of what he has done to the poor girl. If you do not wish to read any of those, scroll to the bottom to click on the button to sign the petition.

loved; 8:26 PM

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I just got off the phone with you and I know you told me to sleep.. but i have to switch off my laptop and i just felt like typing this before i sleep..

I know you can't come onshore this time and you have no other means of communicating with me anymore unless you borrow your shipmate's phone. So if you happen to be able to go online and see this... Please please please take very good care of yourself.. I won't be able to send you encouraging smses anymore like how i used to, so please remember to always jiayou.. I'll missing you here..

Goodnight Darling, sweet dreams and sleep tight.. (:

loved; 2:05 AM

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Darling's ship is in Singapore waters now!

But the thing is......

He just dropped his phone into thinner and he threw his phone away!!!!! SO EVEN IF HE'S IN SINGAPORE I CANT CALL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He called this morning before it happened and then just now he called again using oil-er(i have no idea how to spell his name/rank/position but this is how it sounds like) handphone to call me to tell me about the unfortunate incident.

Which means if he doesnt come onshore in Singapore, he won't be able to receive smses from me or give me missed calls/smses once he's sailed off again, which in probably in 2 days time.

I'm feeling extremely distressed now.

loved; 12:44 PM

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Where are you?

loved; 12:46 AM

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Life is beautiful but how often do we think that way? We all just sit there stagnant like flowers stuck in pots, delusional in our own worlds, forgetting that we will all wilt away very very soon.

loved; 1:26 AM

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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, Dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Don't take my sunshine away..

loved; 11:17 PM

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7th November

I got home after the extremely filling Shabu Shabu and bathed before Darling called exactly at 0000h to wish me Happy Birthday! :D I was extremely ecstatic when he called! :D While I was on the phone with him, my family suddenly came into the room, switched off the lights and sang the birthday song for me! :D

Look at those photos below! See how my sister is trying to snatch the 'limelight' from me. HAHAHA.

LOL LOOK AT HER EXPRESSIONS! I can't help but focus on her in the photos hahahah.

The cake from Bakerzin which sis bought! :D She kept saying that it's damn nice but it's too rich for my taste. hahahhaa but she enjoyed eating the bulk of it anyway. :D

Then she ran to the fridge with excitement and said "I got another surprise!!" and took out a pack of macaroons from Bakerzin!!! :D

LOL ANOTHER RETARDED EXPRESSION. But we all loveeeee the macaroons from Bakerzin! :D Super pricey though but this time it's free (for me HAHA)! :D

I purposely tried to be in the photo but i forgot that lens on my brother's camera doesn't work like other compact cameras. Once it focuses on the object everything else blurs out. -.-

YAY MACAROONS :D :D

loved; 8:53 PM

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Haha, i'm home early today after going out with Minghan, Haziq and Nelson to Beach Road and Ikea! I decided to slack around for a bit before doing some tidying up of my cupboards, so here are the updates on my birthday celebrations! :D

After going to BP for the G7 Campfire preparations, I went down to Bedok to meet up with Yujuan, Wei Jie (Ah Pui), Jon Tan, Jasmine and her boyfriend! :D

We took a bus down to Katong area for Shabu Shabu. There was a rather wide variety of food for the Shabu Shabu buffet and the food were all very nice! I felt in love with the nuggets and man tous there even though they were not supposed to be the main dishes there. hahah :D

We got an individual pot each so we got to 'personalise' our soup! Yujuan cooked A LOT of celeries in her soup after us telling her that it's negative calories. HAHA. She really love celeries but the res of us didnt like the smell/taste of it. Then I told her that the bitter gourd is very good for the skin and she emptied almost an entire plate of them into her soup too. We kept laughing and tried tricking her into putting other food into her soup by telling her that they are good for skin/hair etc. LOL. (:

THE MINI MAN TOUS!! :D They come with condensed milk dips and the combination is surprisingly good! :D

This little boy was from the next table and he peered over to our table while doing this super nice pose. He was sooooo cute! But he starting crying/whining/screaming and we could see Jasmine's boyfriend cringing everytime he did it. hahaha

We spent 3 hours there, eating rather slowly and spending our time talking about the randomest stuff. But despite being rather full, Jasmine and her boyfriend brought us to a place with really good ice cream! :D

It's somewhere around Siglap Park Connector and it's called Ice Cream Chefs. It adopts the same concept as Cold Rock where you get to choose any toppings/mix-ins to be mixed together with your ice cream! Their ice-cream has a slight chewy texture and their fruit flavours were blended from real fruits! I hate ice creams made with syrups but these were not! Love the strawberry and mango flavours. :D

Yujuan and I spent a really long time deciding on our flavours. There was a birthday promotion that gives the birthday girl + her friends free mix-ins but it's only applicable for the actual day! It was still one day before my birthday so it wasn't valid. lol.

I have no idea why she gave this expression but i think it was extremely cute! :D

It was almost 2300h and they took out my cake and had it lit for me! :D My first birthday cake received! :D

loved; 8:11 PM

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I'm picking up the pieces one by one but there's no way to piece them together again.

loved; 1:37 AM

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People whom I thought were perfect couples and had perfect relationships all went their separate ways. This was no exception. It was sad, but beautiful while it lasted.

It makes me wonder.. During times like this, who do we blame? Do we blame ourselves for not being forgiving enough, or do we blame the other party for not being able to tolerate us? Or.. do we blame anyone at all?

Why does it still matter whose responsibility it should be? At the end of the day, it's not about winning nor is it about you being the victim. It's just about how 2 were so much in love but it still wasn't enough to make them overlook everything. It shouldn't be anyone's fault.

Well, if there should be anything to blame, the blame should be placed on those who painted such illusions about the perfect love. Because of this impressions of "perfect relationships", people start to find imperfections in theirs. People start comparing and start wanting more.

My heart aches for you but you have to learn to let go now. I know you'll find a better someone. You deserve so much more than this.. I wish you well.

loved; 1:14 AM

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My mom keeps talking to Bunji saying "HUI QU!! HUI QU!!!" (which means GO BACK!!) but Bunji merely stares back blankly at her because it doesn't understand HAHAHAHAAHAH

okay she's here to look for me im going to put it back now :D

loved; 12:34 AM

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I'm home extremely early today.

We submitted 2 assignments today but we still have many more to go. Suddenly, i feel lost again as to where I want to head to after graduation. I want to continue studying. Probably pursue a Degree or take an Advanced Diploma. Darling told me to consider very very carefully on the scholarship offers and decide whether i will be able to stick with the bonds.

I considered a gap year.. but Darling went "NOOOO, DON'T DO THAT". LOL.

My old man of a boyfriend is coming around to Singapore again but this time I don't think he'll get to come onshore. But it's fine because we get to talk on the phone! (:

BP for G7 campfire preparation tomorrow and then it's campfire at St Anthony's Pri.

I'm so tired after rushing through the assignments! It's raining heavily now so it's a really good time to sleep. hahaha. I'm going to take a nap nowwwwww. (:

loved; 4:39 PM

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Today, I read an article about Forgiveness. In it was an extract from a book stating the stages of forgiving.

Stage 1: We rediscover the humanity of the person who hurt us.

Stage 2: We surrender our right to get even.

Stage 3: We revise our feelings towards the person we forgive.

The article got me thinking, but i know very well that currently, I do not have it in me to forgive somebody if that person has hurt me in the worst ways possible. I'm not talking about the cliche sappy "He left me! Love hurts!" kind of crap. I'm talking about hurt on a different level. We hear stories of abuse, murders, psychos everyday. What if it happened to me? Or what if it happens to my family (which is an ultimate choy)? I don't think I can ever forgive something like that.

I actually wanted to say a lot more things but i kept editting and deleting what i typed because i have no idea how to convey my feelings appropriately. Nvm, I'm going to get back to work now.

loved; 6:27 PM

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How does it feel like when your heart turns cold?

loved; 11:31 PM

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The LG Chocolate BL40 will be out in Singapore by 14th November! :D :D

BUT IT'S A STAGGERING $988 WITHOUT CONTRACT!!!!!

I bet with contract it'll still be around $700+. HOW TO AFFORD?!?!

I want the LG Chocolate BL40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loved; 7:52 PM

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Happy Birthday to me! :D

I had an awesome time celebrating with the different groups of people! No time now but i'll blog in detail soon (i always say i would but in the end i'll forget HAHAHA)!

7th November

In BPGHS for G7 Campfire Preparation! I got a birthday song + birthday hug from the Guides! :D

I went to meet Yujuan, Ah Pui, Jon Tan, Jasmine & her boyfriend at Bedok for Shabu Shabu! :D It was reallyyyyyyy good. I now have an entire list of good-food places to bring everyone to next time. hahahaha :D

And then at exactly 0000h (while i was on the phone with Darling who called right on time), my family came into the room with a birthday cake for me! :D

Look at my retarded sister's face HAHAHAHA.

8th November

I got a call from Minghan at 0900h+ saying that he would only come by during evening so i went back to sleep. The doorbell woke me up so i went to open the door in a groggy and absolutely unglam state (hair not combed, teeth not brushed, extremely blur face).

It was Minghan! I opened the door for him and complained that i was so unglam. And when i was going to close the door, 4 others (Jianwei, JunGang, Jasvin, Shanfeng!) dashed out shouting, "SURPRISE!!!"

And i got ANDURIL from Darling! He prepared this gift 4 months before :D :D AHHHHH IT'S THE ANDURIL THAT I'VE BEEN EYEING FOR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HOW IT GLOWS OMG OMG OMG OMG

I got a Strawberry Classic cake which Darling specially told Minghan to get. :D The other 2 cheesecakes were from Shanfeng who stayed up till 0300h+ to bake them for me! (: Minghan had the gift stuffed in his wardrobe for months! HAHA. The others had to meet at 0700h for this surprise so i was really really touched by this gesture. lol :D

And a hugeeee thankyou to all those who sent me birthday wishes through smses, facebook, letters (AH I GOT 2!!!)! :D

loved; 12:05 PM

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You came online just now and we tried talking on the Facebook chat because your computer didn't have msn.

The connection was bad and your 'enter' button wasn't working well.. But i kept on typing, and kept on waiting everytime you went offline, hoping that you'll get connection again.

But this last time took 15 minutes and you're still not back yet.. I kept refreshing my blog, my email account, and even Facebook, desperately hoping to get something from you again. But there was nothing.

You said you should be able to use till 0000h when your duty ends.. It's another 10 minutes more only but no sign of news from you.. Should i wait till 0030h before going to sleep?

Do you still have connection? Did someone want to use the computer and you have to give it up to him? Are you going to sleep immediately after your bridge duty? I wish i got to say a proper goodnight/bye to you.. I hope you sleep well tonight.. The weather's freaky recently and I know sometimes it gets really cold in your cabin since it's centralised airconditioning.. I hope the blanket's warm enough..

Goodnight Darling.. Sleep tight and sweet dreams.. Wish i could have been there to tuck you to bed like how you always tuck me in..

loved; 11:46 PM

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I'm 19!

Having mixed feelings about turning a year older, but i'm happy because it's been a really great start to my day! :D I had a birthday song + birthday hug from the Guides during the campfire preparation session today! And now I'm so full from the shabu shabu with Yujuan, Jasmine, Jasmine's boyfriend, Weijie and Jon Tan! Meeting the musketeers tml! :D

A lot of people smsed at 0000h too and Darling called! :D And while we were talking, my family sneaked into my room with a birthday cake :D

Turning old is not so bad FOR NOW. HAHAHA

Going to go sleep now! :D :D

loved; 1:15 AM

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Idiot-Proof

Anymore

Not